Who Understands All the Mysteries of Life
My wife’s uncle, blind since his twenties, blind 50 years now,
tells her that our late daughter, dead herself at 39,
has been coming to him in his dreams where she begs
to be baptized, and I wonder if she has come
to him as a vision, as the tall blonde athlete ravaged
at the end by cancer pain, her eyes retreating, dark,
her hair just beginning to grow out, the soft short coat
of a plush toy, or does she come to him as she was
six months before, her chemo-polished head adorned
with wigs and hope, her pink clothes an eyesore, a badge
of defiant pride, a challenge thrown up, a flag flown,
her mouth a cave of plans, a hive abuzz with what comes next.
In my dreams she appears as four-year-old girl who vibrates
with life, with tantrum rage and swing-set joy, her fine blonde hair
a shaking flame. She flashes through, eleven on soccer field,
her limbs an intense blur, her hair a streak escaping.
Or sixteen in silvery slink, corsage and laughter.
How does she enter his dreams, this girl he has never seen,
our daughter now dead and gone, now converted to ashes,
now dispersed by whims of water, our daughter idea
and memory? Is she a voice from darkness calling,
a disembodied entreaty, a soul trying
to enter life once more, trying to buy by proxy
the ticket to eternal bliss if it can be had?
I imagine her dream voice a whisper swelling
like Whitney Houston’s voice opening to miracle
in her anthems, an angel’s wail, a declaration
of glory’s truth though I do not believe in God
or afterlife any more than our daughter did
until those last agonizing weeks. But he, the blind uncle,
is LDS and devout and so we tell him
to go ahead and baptize whatever has come to him.
Cecil Morris retired after 37 years of teaching high school English, and now he tries writing himself what he spent so many years teaching others to understand and (maybe) enjoy. He has had a handful of poems appearing or forthcoming in Cimarron Review, Hole in the Head Review, New Verse News, Rust + Moth, Sugar House Review, Willawaw Journal, and other literary magazines.