Different Kinds of Mysteries
How you touch me
this morning, late April sun
pouring through the blinds
in your room. You smile
and stroke my hands,
as I hold yours, making me
aware of how your touch
is an act of love. I tell you
about the word toast, how
I was asked to use it in
something I wrote, so it
could be included in a book,
whose theme was grains,
which, as you said, “Just
tickles me,” making you
so very happy, your smile
lingering on your face,
deepening our intimacy
even as aides pass in the hall,
one of my hands resting
on your upper arm, causing
me to feel our oneness,
to see your light beneath
your flesh, that flesh is only
a metaphor, portending
our inner mysteries, which
enables us to live a deeper
existence even though we
may never find answers to
their secrets, their revelations.
A favorite aide arrives.
She and I facilitate getting you
to sit up, then stand. I lead
you to the bathroom to be
cleaned, to dress. In lifting
you up, then pivoting your
body to where I can place it
in the wheelchair is both
art and science, always with
your surprise that we have
accomplished it once again.
The morning has taken on
a miracle in the making;
I am asked to help others
and we are then appreciated
more often than usual.
Scottie, from operations,
even mentions how moved
he is by his always seeing us
holding hands. He says,
“Other people don’t even get
a visitor and you come here
every day to see your wife,”
tears welling up in his eyes.
How you touch me, I think,
driving home, noticing how
when I pass the wetland,
the new grass in the tussocks
is so green and growing up
so high, it presents a different
kind of mystery, another
reminder of how you touch me.
Wally Swist’s new books include Aperture (Kelsay Books), poems regarding caregiving his spouse through Alzheimer’s, and If You’re the Dreamer, I’m the Dream: Selected Translations from Rilke’s Book of Hours (Finishing Line Press). Poems, essays, and translations have appeared in Chicago Quarterly Review, Commonweal, Healing Muse, Image Journal, Rattle, and Your Impossible Voice. Huang Po and the Dimensions of Love (Southern Illinois University Press, 2012) was co-winner of the 2011 Crab Orchard Open Poetry Competition. He was also the winner of the Ex Ophidia Press Poetry Prize in 2018 for A Bird Who Seems to Know Me.