Rubble – a poem by Liza Halley

Rubble

I keep thinking about the desecration of the Temples,
the First, the Second, the Tenth, the Thirtieth, the Hundredth.
I am standing in the middle of the ruin

            the burnt Torah scrolls
            the benches hacked to pieces
            the oil from the nair tamid
            eternal flame filling my nostrils
            slick under foot 
            broken glass, blood everywhere.

I try, so hard, to remember this body is a temple
here on earth to praise God, to bring light and joy.
This body is the only holy of holies left on earth.

Mostly though, it’s the rubble that comes to mind.
I can’t even look except slantwise,
the task, so beyond my ken.

I bring only a strong hand to move a bench,
a strong back to bend over a soiled floor.
I approach the task as I do God

eyes downcast, no clear word to guide me 
only names that cast kaleidoscope
fractured light into the space around me.

How did my ancestors do it?
Their most sacred spaces - vitiated -
enter with bucket in hand, sudsy water, rag ready?

These days it's more than I can muster.
Is it not better sometimes to turn away?
To leave that which can never be truly rectified?

Dreamily I imagine the rebuilding
my hands hammering nails, weaving deep blue thread
sitting on gleaming wood all made new

the light shining in from windows,
the nair tamid burning once again overhead,
my feet firm against hewn stone.

I imagine that hope in a heart
that this time, this time
everything will be okay.

Mostly though we know how the story goes:
we carry on even with the broken window taped up,
the hinges never quite right, the doors to the ark askew,
the scrolls singed around the edges.

Still we light the light.
Still we tuck the scrolls into the silver boxes,
hang them with a tiny nail, tiny hole
in the doorposts of our hearts. 

Liza Halley works as an elementary school Library Teacher. Liza helped establish the Poet Laureate position in her hometown of Arlington, MA. She is the co-founder of Write Around Portland, a nonprofit based in Portland, OR that amplifies voices and builds community through our writing workshops, literary programming, books, and readings.She loves to build community through the written word, be it through poetry, zines, or comics. She has been published by Braided Way Magazine: Faces and Voices of Spiritual Practice.