When Gods Don’t Come In
God’s dog is sick, and he isn’t coming in today, and I rejoice—
play music loudly off YouTube and clean
my desk. Days like this, where I can work uninterrupted,
filing away like a madwoman or typing up a report in one sitting,
ease the gnawing claws at the back of my neck.
Days like this only come so often, and after work is done, I stroll
into the sanctuary with its 20-foot windows,
white pews, red carpet, and sit on the wooden altar steps
and pray. The sunset streams light through the glass
and rainbows appear along the organ’s balcony. I feel
God here, not the God of this church who like a dictator demands
my obedience to his every word and acceptance of his schemes,
but the God I found once when I was abandoned by man.
I want that God to return. I would rest my head
on His shoulder, whisper my devotion and become
His secretary writing up His prayers and decrees.
Then I would be free.
Cat Dixon is the author of What Happens in Nebraska (Stephen F. Austin University Press, 2022) along with six other poetry chapbooks and collections. She is a poetry editor with The Good Life Review. Recent poems published in Thimble Lit Mag, Poor Ezra’s Almanac, and Moon City Review. She works full-time as a church admin and teaches creative writing part-time at the University of Nebraska, Omaha.
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