How to Communicate with the Deceased
In my book, Hummingbird: Messages from My Ancestors, a memoir with writing and reflection prompts last year, I discuss how if we pay attention we can get messages from those who have passed. My book was written during the pandemic’s lockdown when every day a hummingbird visited me outside my writing studio. I came to understand that it was my grandmother visiting who died when I was ten. She was my caretaker when my immigrant parents went to work during the day. She was also my inspiration to be a writer.
Many of us over fifty seem to have more interest in connecting with those on the other side to garner wisdom, especially during such turbulent times.
It’s been said that those who were close to you before they died commonly send messages in the form of spirit guides. Hummingbirds, in particular, resonate at a high vibration, which makes them more connected to the great beyond…they can be referred to as messengers from the heavens because they often show up when people grieve the loss of a loved one.
Some Native Americans believe that the presence of hummingbirds brings unconditional love and harmony. The Aztecs viewed hummingbirds as brave courageous fighters. They also believed them to be immortal, connecting us with our ancestors. The fact is that, whenever one appears, it’s sometimes viewed as a visitation from an ancestor or a manifestation of a dead person’s spirit.
I believe that when a loved one passes, a part of us dies along with them. My father died when I was thirty-seven, which was more than thirty years ago. I still think of him every day, and wish he could share in my joy as a grandmother of six. Silverman, et al, (1992), says that in interviewing children between the ages of 6-17 who had lost a parent, she found that their experience was that their parent still existed inside of them or in the world.
While this may cause some cognitive dissonance, it might account for why sometimes children have a hard time explaining what they’re feeling at this very difficult time. After losing a parent, some children felt their parent was communicating with them in a benevolent way that reflected the parent’s status as spirits.
Like my hummingbird visit, one child saw flashing colored lights in his bedroom at night and said that he liked to think it was his mother trying to get in touch with him. For many children, this helped to temper the pain, while still communicating with them did the same thing. Silverman suggests that therapists should encourage the connection rather than discourage it.
When we die, we transcend the human experience of consciousness. In fact, Dr. Peter Fenwick (2009) believes that consciousness persists after death and if this is indeed the case, then it would seem to follow that we can communicate with the departed.
Dr. Cedrin Johnson (2024) whose mother-in-law passed believes he saw her soul leave her body. He also believes that people die and afterwards, the spirits communicate across the veil. The point is that the departed are not really in the faraway place that we might think they’re in. He concludes that while death might be the end of a person’s life, but not necessarily the end of the relationship. He continues to receive downloads from others who have passed, as have I have I over the years.
Some ways to connect with the departed:
- Create a home altar with artifacts from the deceased.
- Do a 15-minute meditation.
- Do a grounding exercise.
- Focus on being mindful and grateful.
- Pay attention to messages (in the form of flashing lights, symbols and impressions)
- Channel through automatic writing by connecting with someone who has departed.
In conclusion, connecting with our ancestors may take regular practice. It also involves being alert and present to any signals that arrive. If we pay attention, then magic will happen. Basically, signs and messages transform us and take us from one state of being to another. They can also bring us from the darkness to the light.
Remember to always thank your ancestor for showing up. This is the way we honor and show love to those on the other side.
References
Fedwick (2009). “Wider human conconsciousness as shown by death and dying.” Royal College of Psychiatrists. https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/docs/default-source/members/sigs/spirituality-spsig/spirituality-special-interest-group-publications-fenwick-wider-human-consciousness-as-shown-by-death-and-dying.pdf?sfvrsn=f0022c3b_2
Johnson, C., PhD. (2024). “I saw her soul leave her body.” Medium. May 5.
Silverman, P. Nickman, S and W. Worden. (1992). ”Detachment revisited: a child’s reconstruction of a dead parent.” Journal of Orthopsychiatry. Vol 62. Issue 4. Pp. 494-503.
Diana Raab, MFA, PhD, is a memoirist, poet, workshop leader, thought-leader and award-winning author of fourteen books. Her work has been widely published and anthologized. She frequently speaks and writes on writing for healing and transformation. Her latest book is Hummingbird: Messages from My Ancestors, A memoir with reflection and writing prompts (Modern History Press, 2024). Raab writes for Psychology Today, The Wisdom Daily, The Good Men Project, Thrive Global, and is a guest writer for many others. Visit her at: https:/www.dianaraab.com. Raab lives in Southern California.