The Goddess of Remorse
It’s full on dark night when
the bar of gold light sears
across my heart. Coming
from nowhere out of nothing
right onto me. Coincidence.
No meaning in it, a fluke
of twisting beams that I
can’t track its source.
Hand across my chest
now, the mark a layer
removed: under the strip,
my hand’s back and underneath
that skin, bones, beating.
The life in me, on a night
I can’t sleep, anxiety stirring
bad memories with its
nightmare stick and here
I am, marked by light, clothed
and naked, part of me bright
and honest, part the biggest
lie I know. What am I? What
is happening here? I am not new
news. The voice between
time. Seconds tick, my chest
thumps to move my blood,
The life in me all shadows
and bright dreams, all the
bustle of day punctuated
by the lost and quiet night
of this. I want to lift this
bar, turn my hand, hold
its fire to warm my palm.
Instead, I shift, let it spear
back into my heart, let
the light break me open,
burn me alive. You will know
my face by its shadows. Time
to get the shadows right, let
light fall shining wherever it may.
Neile Graham is Canadian by birth and inclination but currently lives in Seattle, Washington. Her publications include: four full-length collections, most recently The Walk She Takes (2019) and a spoken word CD, She Says: Poems Selected & New. She has also published poems in various physical and online magazines, including Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, Mad Swirl, and Polar Starlight.