Sitting Still
"And why am I always the one who hears it?"
Rainer Maria Rilke, "The Neighbor"
It's been blank since my last.
The mind, a void
that is heavy.
And I think it's strange that emptiness can be felt,
that one can sense a thing that's missing
and not yet manifested.
Like the Unseen that no longer gathers around me,
waiting patiently for an opening –
Some open wound to caress and press
deep
until I almost know why.
It is a curse I pray to keep
(though it does not keep me)
though it makes me grieve –
having it, losing it, having it.
It is a wanting I know not how to want
nor give up. It gives all a sense of meaning
that hides and eludes me.
And it takes my will out of me as it slides on my body
and moves on to another source
as if I have no voice left
somewhere
I hear a strange violin at a distance, and
someone else’s hand searching for a pen.
Daniel Niv (She/ Her) is a student at Tel Aviv University. She is double majoring in Literature and Creative Writing in both Hebrew and English. She won the Bar Sagi Award 2021 for her poetry. You can find more of her published works in Phantom Kangaroo, Anti-Heroin Chic, Caesura, and elsewhere. For more information, you can visit her website: DanielNiv.com.
Amethyst Review 